There is no shame in being poor

One of my favorite quotes from Dieter Uchdorf is "There is no Shame in Being Poor".  I don't really think it has been made into a plaque or one of those cute vinyl things you put on tile and display.
I can't even remember the rest of the talk.  I do remember him saying that.  I did look it up, and he goes on to mention the Savior being born in a stable and the Widow and her mite....blah.  I don't want to hear that part. I DON'T want to be the widow and her mite.  I DON'T want to be poor.  I HATE it.  I have been poor for my entire married life.  24 years.  POOR.  Not sort of poor, but Poor.  AND I have had a full time job also the entire time.  It never seems to get better. Seems there are always expensive things that come along, like cars.  I have had FOUR totaled cars in the past two years.  AND one just died that wasn't paid for.  Continuous money trouble and I see NO way out.  None.

I got rid of him, and it is still poor.  He didn't help out much, but he did some.   I know, go after the child support.  RIGHT.  Can't get blood from a turnip.  I could get money from a wall easier than from Chili Willy.  He has none unless he steals it from someone.  I can't stand it.  I am one step away from extreme poverty.  I could sell my house and move to an apartment but that wouldn't change much because my payment would be about the same.  I wouldn't have to buy furnace filters though.

Not even sure why I put this down here.  Writing about it makes me feel better.  Except I'm about to still have a nervous breakdown even with writing it down.   At least I put down the stressers along with the good times.  However, I probably should just write it on paper and throw it away or not publish it like they tell you to do in therapy. (If I had gone to therapy)  Maybe I need to go.