Need to Remember

Saw this today and thought I need to remember this.  Mostly I feel like I am being defeated.

Might want to rethink being a Math Major

Parents Weekend Sigma Chi

Headed to Cedar City for the weekend.  It was Parents Weekend for the Sigma Chi Fraternity.  I rented a car, and Jack and I headed down.  Nick decided to stay home because he had a Job interview at Lagoon, and a lacrosse scrimmage at the Fieldhouse at the University of Utah against Farmington.  We left Saturday am due to snow the night before.

McCall was on job Interview duty.  She dropped him off at Marlena's house, and McKenna took him to the University of Utah after she finished cleaning Marlena's house.  Then Marti picked nick up from the game and took him to their house for the rest of the weekend.  Whew.  So glad they were willing to help and take him.

Jack was a fabulous travel partner.  He is in the back asleep.

He was a good sport at taking his picture in Beaver in the huge chair.  It was super cold so I'm surprised he was willing to sit there.  We stopped at all the Mavericks for drinks and then for Bathroom breaks.  We did have to stop in Beaver for a bathroom again...

First stop was the Cedar City Aquatic center so we could tie the edges of some blankets.  We got to sit by the only girl in the Fraternity.  She was cute and we did a great job of the edges.

I also bought two T shirts for the weekend. I thought at least I could support them that way. I  can't afford to buy one of their baskets they were actioning off, but I could purchase some T shirts.

We checked in our Hotel, La Quinta and headed over to St George to get Abi. She was my date for the Gala.  The gala was fab.  We had BBQ for dinner, and then a program about the Fraternity and how they fund raise for John Huntsman and what other things they have done.  We met all of Andrew's boyfriends and his date Mattie.  I didn't get a pic of her I guess.

Here's my fav Andrew.  So handsome.  

Abi spent the night with us in Cedar.  She and Jack went swimming for about 4 minutes because it was cold and crowded.  I didn't even get to enjoy them being gone:)

The next day, Andrew came with us and we took Abi back to St. George.  We stopped at Costco and loaded Andrew up in groceries and stopped at Maverik.

Sad to say good bye to my kiddos.  We had a great time with Andrew and his buds.

There is no shame in being poor

One of my favorite quotes from Dieter Uchdorf is "There is no Shame in Being Poor".  I don't really think it has been made into a plaque or one of those cute vinyl things you put on tile and display.
I can't even remember the rest of the talk.  I do remember him saying that.  I did look it up, and he goes on to mention the Savior being born in a stable and the Widow and her mite....blah.  I don't want to hear that part. I DON'T want to be the widow and her mite.  I DON'T want to be poor.  I HATE it.  I have been poor for my entire married life.  24 years.  POOR.  Not sort of poor, but Poor.  AND I have had a full time job also the entire time.  It never seems to get better. Seems there are always expensive things that come along, like cars.  I have had FOUR totaled cars in the past two years.  AND one just died that wasn't paid for.  Continuous money trouble and I see NO way out.  None.

I got rid of him, and it is still poor.  He didn't help out much, but he did some.   I know, go after the child support.  RIGHT.  Can't get blood from a turnip.  I could get money from a wall easier than from Chili Willy.  He has none unless he steals it from someone.  I can't stand it.  I am one step away from extreme poverty.  I could sell my house and move to an apartment but that wouldn't change much because my payment would be about the same.  I wouldn't have to buy furnace filters though.

Not even sure why I put this down here.  Writing about it makes me feel better.  Except I'm about to still have a nervous breakdown even with writing it down.   At least I put down the stressers along with the good times.  However, I probably should just write it on paper and throw it away or not publish it like they tell you to do in therapy. (If I had gone to therapy)  Maybe I need to go.

Feeling the Love

Valentines day we felt the LOVE all day.  Started out with this on the counter for Nick and Jack. Cookies and candy and donuts from Gma.  She also gave the red envelopes with valentines and money in them...

Here's what I mailed  to Abi, Andrew and Brooke. I usually give them socks but gave them money instead so they could pick out their own socks since they are away at college.
Loving me those prepaid priority boxes from the post office.

Brooke's friend Ty gave me this for Valentines day.  It was from Brooke and Ty he said.  Yahoo.  The best. Diet Coke and Reeses Peanut butter and Kisses.

This is me testing out the Coke in the Am.  It was Fabulous.

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Got this valentine in the mail from Brooke.  She knows me obviously.

Valentine below is from my main facial lady Terra Lynne.  It actually looks like her.

Then got these two valentines from kids at school  So cute from Jr High kids.  

This valentine is from my mother.  I threw away the car already.  I had to buy groceries with it 

Love me some Valentines day.  Its just fun to remember people with candy or love or cards or anything simple.

Adulting

So, lately been feeling sad.  Weird when you parents die.  Only my dad died but it is enough, and being divorced.  It is like NO one really cares about you.  I know that kids care about you, but its different.  Feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown and really, no one gives a shit or even can help.  Not that if I were not divorced it would have mattered because he hasn't been here for over 18 mo.  but it is final now.  And final that NO one is that concerned. I have friends too that I love, but its not the same.

Just feeling like I need an anxiety fix...Hate the word anxiety...Reminds me of the wuss kids at school...

This did help my stress level...

I Hope She Always Feels This Way

I have been on a decluttering kick and clean out the stuff kick.  It doesn't even look like I have gotten rid of anything or cleaned at all.  However today I was cleaning out the drawer in the kitchen and found this.

It warmed my heart.  Brooke drew this a few years ago and I found it.  Love it.  Hopefully they will always think I have done my very best raising them.  Its hard and fun and hard.  It wouldn't be worth it if I didn't love them so much.

C is for Coke

Nick did this for an assignment in probably the 1st grade...I can't imagine what his teacher thought

                                                    Another proud mother moment...

And Another One

I took the day off to take Sharon to the Family History Library before Grace's wedding.  We didn't leave until 10:30 because Marlena had a hair appt of course.  So Nick and I went to the DMV for his learners permit.  Oh my.  I am SO ready for a driver again at home, however, I am NOT looking forward to another totaled car. 

Nick is a super great kid.  I hope he will not be as bad as the rest of them at learing to drive. 

Grace's Wedding

My niece Grace got married this weekend.  My cousin Sharon, came to visit from Oregon for the wedding. Kindof weird since it was just a wedding.  But it is a good excuse to visit

We had a dinner at Thanksgiving point on Friday night.   During the day Michelle, Marlena, Sharon and myself went to the family history Library and did some research about our ancestors.  Sharon is into everything about ancestors and old junk and her best friends from elementary school.  It was fun and interesting I thought.  We had lunch at the Nauvoo Room at the Joseph Smith Bldg.  Really good especially these.

Decided to then go to the Cemetary to see where her mother, my aunt is buried.  She has never seen the headstone and she has never seen my dad's stone. 

I didn't take a pic of her moms as I have one already, but here is another one of Melanie.  Michelle decorated it for Christmas and the stuff was still there.  She changed it a bit and now it is ready for Valentines' day.  Weird.  

Here are the only pics I took at the Dinner.  It was nice and love me some of these people!

This is Mark.  He is so handsome.  Father of the bride.

                                                               Sierra, Hayden and Luke

                                                                   Mark and Marlena

Grace and Kendall

It is always fun to get together with people you love.  I didn't take a lot of pics since I forget.  Great weekend with family and friends.