Thursday, May 22, 2014

Failure

Failure-yep, that's how I feel.  In the category of life,   I never seem to have enough of anything.  Time, money, energy, ideas, decisions, or solutions.  I'm not good with any of those.  It is hard to know how to solve the problems when I don't know how.  Really don't know.  I'm not an expert on anything.  It is hard to be a mother when I am soo inadequate in all areas.  I'm unsure of almost everything I do and every decision I make.  "Is that the correct thing?". " are my children going to feel bad"?  "Is that what good parents do?". You know the parents that are happily married and have mothers that don't work, and have lots of money? the beauty of that is, when you have both of those, you have lots of time.  I have to work, don't have any money, and I am not happily married.  Three strikes.  Well, 4.  NO time.  I am sorry for my children.  My short comings have become theirs.  Life is harder for you than it was for me as a child.  I don't know how to make all of you happy or even some of you.  I try so hard to be a good mother.  Really.  I have to make up for all of the things fathers provide, that chily willy doesn't.  Everything I do, is for them.  I think about them and pray for their safety 24 hours a day.  I am soo sorry I have come up short. every. stinking. day.  They all deserved better.  I am very sorry!  

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