Sunday, October 7, 2018

My Summer of Loss

I have been feeling a bit of a loss lately...I typed that sentence in the Summer and never finished this post.  Now it is almost Oct and I still feel that way. It has been a time of loss.  My dad died.  He was 85 and it was past time for him to go.  He had lead a good life, and fought the fight as the old saying goes.  However, it is still a weird loss.  Hard to explain.  I even told him it was time to go the day the nurses said he probably would pass.  There is still this emptyness inside.  Your parents are the only people that really care what happens to you and are the first to step up and help you.  Even though he hasn't been much help over the last few years, he was help for a long long time.

Then a few weeks later, both of my girls left for college.  Abi left on a Friday, which I took her down to Dixie, and then the Sunday right after, I took Brooke to the airport for school in Florida.  Even though Brooke has left a few times, they haven't all left at the same time.  Andrew also went to school, but he hasn't been home since last year for more than a few days to stay.  But it is weird and lonely to have all of them gone. I come home from work and it is me.  Jack, Nick and me.  They are good, but it is certainly not like having all of them here.  I  bought this food at the store, and it is still there when I get home.  Cucumbers, Cottage cheese, apples Sweet Peppers, Stir Fry, Red Lobster leftovers, Cafe Rio are just like I left them.  Before they would all be gone in no time.  No one eats that kind of food but me now.  Nick and Jack haven't eaten a vegetable in years.

Then when school was getting ready to start, I had a loss for Summer.  Summer is always too short. This time, it seemed that Summer school went til July.  Then my dad died, we went to Bear Lake, then Football started and it seems like it is back to school.  I had a huge loss for my summer.

In a few days I am going to have another loss.  Although it will seem like a loss, it is a good thing and needed to happen for a LONG time.


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